What do your holiday plans look like this year? With the uncertainty and challenges of the virus continuing to impact our decisions this year, many are choosing to adjust their plans. This is hard on all of us. And as a parent, you may be wondering how to help your child cope with the disappointment of things being different.
Here are some general suggestions grouped by age, followed by 10 tips for making the holidays merry and bright for the whole family (even during a pandemic).
Helping Your Child Cope with Disappointment
According to pediatric psychologists, children of different ages and stages of cognitive development deal with disappointment differently. The following suggestions will help you lessen the sting of disappointment.
0-3 years old: Focus on Spending Quality Time Together
Children this age will not remember details about the holidays or any of the events of 2020.
It’s perfectly okay to keep your explanations and celebrations simple for kids this age.
What will make an impression on these children (and all children) is having quiet downtime to feel love and attention from parents and caregivers. With social distancing and quarantine measures in place, this is the perfect season to relax and fill your kids’ cups with affection.
4-6 years old: Create New Quarantine-Approved Holiday Traditions
Take this opportunity to establish new traditions with your immediate family—make holiday decorations together, make home-made gifts for grandparents, cook special meals.
Instead of in-person visits with friends, family, or even Santa, consider other ways to interact using video, writing letters, or making cards.
When kids express disappointment, let them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or disappointed.
Help kids this age find the “silver linings” and teach them to use positive self-talk. For example, “since we aren’t traveling this year, we get extra time to play at home.”
7-12 years old: Help Your Child Build Resilience for the Future
At this age, children understand that precautions need to be taken due to COVID-19.
Acknowledge and validate their feelings of disappointment about changes to holiday traditions: It’s normal and okay to feel sad, frustrated, or angry.
Remember helping children overcome disappointment helps them build resiliency.
Include them in the planning and ask them for ideas to make the holiday special.
Teach fun relaxation strategies such as yoga, meditation, or deep breathing exercises.
13-18 years old: Ask, Listen, and Encourage COVID-Safe Activities
Ask your teen how they are feeling.
Let them know you are there if they need to talk.
Listen! Often, teens just want someone to listen and let them vent, rather than trying to solve the problem for them.
Allow them a sense of control by giving them choices—maybe letting them plan a post COVID celebration with friends or allowing them to plan a special family activity now.
Encourage positive social activities to honor the holiday season such as volunteering in a socially distanced way.